Funny chatlogs

Post a chatlog (Starting wherever it would make sense) that made you laugh in here, so we can share* the laugh. I mean steam chats, not ingame chats.

Rules:
1) - It has to be funny, we do not accept serious business in here.
2) - Rule 1 shall be followed.

Now make your Captein proud, citizen of NAT!

*What the heck is sharing

Termy >Back<: I posted a comment Becuase.
Termy >Back< puts glasses on
Termy >Back<: Im a postman
Termy >Back<: YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Lewis: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I just asked him to sign it ;_;

QM. David Rothe says "Alright then, Stevenson. Just sign this."
** QM. David Rothe searches for a clipboard in the open file cabinet, and sets it down.
QM. David Rothe says "Also, if you see Specialist Ryan, ask him how he managed to fuck up his armor that badly."
Pfc. Rorick Stevenson says "I'll be sure to do that. Haven't seem him in a while though."
** Pfc. Rorick Stevenson raises his right hand to the upper left portion of his combat harness, extending his index finger. He curls it--
** Pfc. Rorick Stevenson --, pulling the small velcro flap open. He slipt it and his middle finger into the open slot, withdrawing an old, --
** Pfc. Rorick Stevenson -- rather worn pen. He turns it in his hand a moment, using his thumb to push down the nub at the back until a --
** Pfc. Rorick Stevenson -- click is audible. He leans forward, pressing the ball of the pen down onto the line he is required to sign, doing so--
** Pfc. Rorick Stevenson -- in his sharp, fluid handwriting.

That guy is such a legend .

His detail is strong and always goes into stuff too far that he has to write about 5 connecting /me's.

agreed, even when i do not know who that guy is

In response to Captein's last post.

8:32 PM - Star Jerkins (Laptop): Reminds me of the time you tried to get someone to sign something
8:32 PM - Star Jerkins (Laptop): xD
8:32 PM - Captein: xP
8:32 PM - Captein: That's my QM char.
8:32 PM - Star Jerkins (Laptop): I know :3
8:32 PM - Star Jerkins (Laptop): I can imagine on IWRP, if I ever get the chance to sign something
8:32 PM - Star Jerkins (Laptop): I'd be all like
8:34 PM - Star Jerkins (Laptop) raises her arm to the pad, slowly stretching her fingers out slightly as she --
/me -- runs her fingers down the metallic sides, pressing the middle of the --
/me -- screen for the keyboard to pop up, afterwards pressing each letter --
8:34 PM - Captein: RRAATATATATATATATATAA
8:34 PM - Star Jerkins (Laptop) -- in her name and finishing with enter
8:34 PM - Captein: HNNNGNGGGGG
8:34 PM - Star Jerkins (Laptop) taps the sides of the pad as she waits, handing it to the man in front of her afterwards
8:34 PM - Star Jerkins (Laptop): xD
8:36 PM - Star Jerkins (Laptop): Sorry
8:36 PM - Star Jerkins (Laptop): I had to xD
8:36 PM - Captein growls.

Primary objective complete.
Continueing to secondary objective.

... -50 Sanity


** Pvt. Jack Walters slowly opens his eyes as he looks around, confused
Pvt. Jack Walters says "W-Was I raped...?"
1SG. Ryan 'Morphine' Dutour says "Yes."
Pvt. Jack Walters says "You put me under"
Pvt. Jack Walters says "For some shit."
Pvt. Jack Walters says "Didn't even tell me what for."
1SG. Ryan 'Morphine' Dutour says "Your chest."
Pvt. Jack Walters says "Oh."
Pvt. Jack Walters says "I don't want to get up."
Pvt. Jack Walters says "Don't look at me like that, Dutour."
1SG. Ryan 'Morphine' Dutour says "What."
Pvt. Jack Walters says "Your face."
1SG. Ryan 'Morphine' Dutour says "No, yours."
Pvt. Jack Walters says "It's like a spaghetti monster took every part of your face and mixed it around like puzzle pieces."
1SG. Ryan 'Morphine' Dutour says "Not as bad as yours."
Pvt. Jack Walters says "My face was crafted by the gods. It is magical."
1SG. Ryan 'Morphine' Dutour says "You mean Hades?"
Pvt. Jack Walters says "No."
1SG. Ryan 'Morphine' Dutour says "Yes, you do."
Pvt. Jack Walters says "No."
1SG. Ryan 'Morphine' Dutour says "Get the fuck out."
Pvt. Jack Walters says "I don't want to get up."
1SG. Ryan 'Morphine' Dutour says "Thats your problem."
Pvt. Jack Walters says "I guess so."
** Spc. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan sighs, still waiting but grinning because of their conversation.
Pvt. Jack Walters says "Can I move in here?"
Pvt. Jack Walters says "I'll pay rent."
1SG. Ryan 'Morphine' Dutour says "I guess."
Pvt. Jack Walters says "Really...?"
1SG. Ryan 'Morphine' Dutour says "I guess."
Pvt. Jack Walters says "That's neat."
Pvt. Jack Walters says "Wanna help me up, now?"
1SG. Ryan 'Morphine' Dutour says "You have two steel bars in your chest."
1SG. Ryan 'Morphine' Dutour says "I'd rest if I were you."
Pvt. Jack Walters says "Oh, does that mean I'm invincible, then?"
1SG. Ryan 'Morphine' Dutour says "Nope."
Pvt. Jack Walters says "Oh, well. Will the steel bars protect me from anything?"
1SG. Ryan 'Morphine' Dutour says "Nope."
Pvt. Jack Walters says "Oh, that's sad."
1SG. Ryan 'Morphine' Dutour says "Yep."
Pvt. Jack Walters says "Can you cut off my arm so I can have a robotic one, instead?"
Pvt. Jack Walters says "Augmentation."
1SG. Ryan 'Morphine' Dutour says "Meh."
Pvt. Jack Walters says "Is that a yes...?"
1SG. Ryan 'Morphine' Dutour says "It's a meh."
Pvt. Jack Walters says "So, you're considering it?"
1SG. Ryan 'Morphine' Dutour says "Meh."
Pvt. Jack Walters says "Okay."
** Spc. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan sighs, slowly drifting off into sleep.
Pvt. Jack Walters says "I'm gonna go, now."
1SG. Ryan 'Morphine' Dutour says "Ok."
** Pvt. Jack Walters slowly pushes himself up, grunting loudly
** Pvt. Jack Walters slowly slides off of the bed and limps off
** 1SG. Ryan 'Morphine' Dutour carefully disconnects his IV
** 1SG. Ryan 'Morphine' Dutour takes off his surgical gear and washes his hands
** Spc. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan is half-sleeping.



He aint no Jewtenant.

1SG. Ryan 'Morphine' Dutour radios in "I aint no Jewtenant."



I love having my QM-Char.

Pvt. Ashley Shepard says "I was wondering if I may change my standard issue XM8 to a high-caliber sniper rifle."
Pvt. Clyde Null says "What."
QM. David Rothe says "I was wondering if you could use your brain once."
QM. David Rothe says "Are you delta?"
[LOOC] Ens. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn: i lol'd
[LOOC] Pvt. Ivtikra 'Eagle' Mivtkon: I shit myself laughing so hard.
QM. David Rothe says "No."



Cole is a man who cares for his love.

Pvt. Bernard Sawyer says "Uh, so whats the reasons for us beatin' this little guy?"
Ens. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn says "He's.."
Ens. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn says "Bad!"
Spc. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan says "Sexual offending."
Ens. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn says "And tryin' to make.. bad things.. towards me."
Pvt. Ivtikra 'Eagle' Mivtkon says "Dunn is obviously drunk."
Pvt. Bernard Sawyer says "Hm, although that aint too great, really aint worth a bullet."
** Pvt. Martin Grimes is grabbed.
Spc. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan says "I'm not going to waste a bullet."
Pvt. Jack Walters says "I am."
** Spc. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan starts pulling him with him.
Pvt. Bernard Sawyer says "Don't wanna see you folks get court martialed."
Pvt. Tanya Natrova says "Is he worth a bullet?"
Spc. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan says "No."
** Pvt. Martin Grimes is pulled, going across dunn's feet.
Spc. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan says "Scum isnt worth a bullet."
** Ens. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn kicks him in the head as he's dragged.
** Spc. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan attempts to chuck him off the platform, head-forward.
** Pvt. Martin Grimes is chucked off the platform, at first head forward, but his body slowly guides itself to hit back-first.
** Spc. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan walks off, leaving that assclown there.
Pvt. Martin Grimes says "Unnnnnnnnnn........"
Pvt. Martin Grimes says "Fuuuuuckk......"
** Pvt. Martin Grimes gasps for breath.
** Pvt. Jack Walters kneels down and places one hand on walkway, hopping down
** Pvt. Martin Grimes finally catches his second wind.



...And a gentleman, even after having to beat up someone to shit and beyond.

**Spc. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan coughs, walking back to her.
Spc. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan says "Renee."
Spc. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan says "Come on. Time to sleep it off, there's no need to cause more shitstorms, okay?"
Ens. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn says "Okay..."

Spc. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan says "So, true is the opposite of 'false'."
Spc. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan says "And you either say the truth, or you lie..."
Spc. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan says "I think that should work."
** Pvt. 'Borg' | 3410 shot circuits because of too mush explaining and paradox.
Spc. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan says "Wow."
Spc. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan says "I killed a seven whatthefuckeverillion dollar machine."
Spc. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan says "I'm not sure if I should be surprised or happy."
Ens. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn says "Both."
Spc. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan says "I knew it."



Pvt. 'Borg' | 3410 says " "
Ens. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn says """
Spc. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan says " "
Ens. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn says "a"
Pvt. 'Borg' | 3410 says " y"
Spc. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan says "k"
Pvt. 'Borg' | 3410 says "b"
Ens. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn says "c"
Pvt. 'Borg' | 3410 says "g"
Spc. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan says "e"
Ens. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn says "d"
Ens. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn says "ef"
Pvt. 'Borg' | 3410 says "z"
Spc. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan says "k"
Ens. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn says "g"
Ens. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn says "h"
Pvt. 'Borg' | 3410 says "d"
Spc. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan says "h"
Pvt. 'Borg' | 3410 says "uh"
Ens. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn says "d"
Spc. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan says "j"
Pvt. 'Borg' | 3410 says "e"
Ens. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn says "z"
Spc. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan says "g"
Pvt. 'Borg' | 3410 says "d"

This is officially the cheesy moments between Cole and Renee post.

Ens. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn says "Come on. Something that makes -you- happy. No helping others today."
Ens. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn says "...Except for 'that'."
Spc. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan says "What?"
Ens. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn says "Nevermind."
Spc. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan says "Oh, that..."
Ens. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn says "No."
Spc. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan says "No what?"
Ens. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn says "No 'that'."
Spc. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan says "Oh, no. I didnt plan to ask for that."
Ens. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn says "Oh..."
**Ens. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn smiles.
**Spc. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan chuckles.

Lt. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn says "I need some rest."
Cpl. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan says "Okay?"
Lt. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn says "Look, I don't mean to be.."
Lt. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn says "To forward, but."
Lt. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn says "Do you want to... like.."
Lt. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn says "Not like.."
Lt. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn says "But."
Lt. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn says "Yeah."
Cpl. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan says "Ehm."
Lt. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn says "Like.."
Lt. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn says "Sleep, but don't like.."
Lt. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn says "'Sleep'."
Cpl. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan says "Oh."
Cpl. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan says "Err... If you're okay with that..."
Lt. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn says "I wouldn't be asking otherwise."
** Cpl. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan grins. "Alright."

Ended up cuddling in an APC while sleeping
http://www.templeofcats.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/cuddle-kittens.jpg
- Like that

[LOOC] Spc. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan: mind if I slip into that gap
[LOOC] Ens. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn: hot
[LOOC] Spc. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan: FUCK IT
[LOOC] Spc. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan: I DIDNT EVEN INTEND TO


**Later...
Lt. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn whispers "That was.. probably illegal, wasn't it?"
Cpl. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan whispers "I think so."
Lt. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn whispers "Well... fuck."
Cpl. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan whispers "What?"
Lt. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn whispers "Nothing."
Lt. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn whispers "Well, this was uhm.."
Lt. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn whispers "Nice."
Cpl. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan whispers "Indeed..."
Lt. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn whispers "So.. uh.."
Lt. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn whispers "Now what?"
Cpl. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan whispers "I dont know..."
** Lt. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn sighs, then tries to hug him.
** Cpl. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan hugs her too.
Lt. Renee 'Tumbleweed' Dunn whispers "I love you.
** Cpl. Cole 'Deadman' Ryan kisses her head. "Heh... I didnt expect my first time to be in an APC..."

16:50 - Skippy: Mission succesful
16:50 - Captein: Hello, myself.
16:50 - Captein: How's my day?
16:50 - Skippy: My day is fine, how's mine?
16:50 - Captein: My day is alright. So, am I going to play GMOD with me now?
16:51 - Skippy: Yes, I will

Captein wrote:

16:50 - Skippy: Mission succesful
16:50 - Captein: Hello, myself.
16:50 - Captein: How's my day?
16:50 - Skippy: My day is fine, how's mine?
16:50 - Captein: My day is alright. So, am I going to play GMOD with me now?
16:51 - Skippy: Yes, I will

lawl?

So me and Raste Moose had a weird random chat today...

Rasta Moose: sap?
飴玉 Mr. Sandvich <3: = juice
飴玉 Mr. Sandvich <3: In dutch
Rasta Moose:
Rasta Moose: well do you want some or not?
飴玉 Mr. Sandvich <3 holds his mug in front of you
飴玉 Mr. Sandvich <3: POUR ME
飴玉 Mr. Sandvich <3: A GLASS OF JEWS
Rasta Moose: have some milk instead, its better for you
飴玉 Mr. Sandvich <3: Malk.
飴玉 Mr. Sandvich <3: I want malk
Rasta Moose: A GLASS OF MALK!!!!
飴玉 Mr. Sandvich <3: YES
飴玉 Mr. Sandvich <3: THATS WHAT I SAID
Rasta Moose: YEEAAAAAAA!
飴玉 Mr. Sandvich <3: FFFFUUUUU
Rasta Moose: some malK!
飴玉 Mr. Sandvich <3 breaks his mug by accident
飴玉 Mr. Sandvich <3: FUCK
飴玉 Mr. Sandvich <3: GUESS I'LL HAVE TO DRINK OUT OF THE CARTON THEN
Rasta Moose: THAT WAS NO ACCIDENT
飴玉 Mr. Sandvich <3: APOCALYPSE
Rasta Moose: IT WAS PURE AWESOMENESS, MALK!
飴玉 Mr. Sandvich <3: No but srsly. Gimmy jews.
Rasta Moose suddenly wants malk.
Rasta Moose purs some jews in mr.sandvichs cup.
飴玉 Mr. Sandvich <3: YOU DONT PURR JEWS
飴玉 Mr. Sandvich <3: UR NO CAT
飴玉 Mr. Sandvich <3: UR A MOOSE
飴玉 Mr. Sandvich <3 ragequits
飴玉 Mr. Sandvich <3: FFFFUUUUUU
飴玉 Mr. Sandvich <3: THESE JEWS DONT FIT IN MAH CUP
Rasta Moose 's cat jumps on keyborsoargasdfg
飴玉 Mr. Sandvich <3: awwww yeah
飴玉 Mr. Sandvich <3: Cat's goin' doooowwwnnnnnnnnnn
飴玉 Mr. Sandvich <3: Mah cat tried to eat my hand
Rasta Moose picks up cat and hugs.
Rasta Moose 's cat proceeds to puke all over the laptop.
Rasta Moose: DAMMIT
Rasta Moose: ninja y u so old?
飴玉 Mr. Sandvich <3: SHEIT

Yay.

18:55 - [BnT-TA | S3G-CO] BanSwag: Yay
18:55 - Captein sends his bitches to bitch
18:55 - Captein: 18:55 - [BnT-TA | S3G-CO] BanSwag: Yay
- Chatlogged
18:55 - [BnT-TA | S3G-CO] BanSwag: Wut
18:55 - Captein: You said "Yay".
18:55 - Captein: YOU
18:56 - Captein: not some melon or orange nobody knows
18:56 - Captein: no
18:56 - Captein: YOU
18:56 - Captein: *THE* banana
18:56 - Captein: said
18:56 - Captein: "Yay"
18:56 - [BnT-TA | S3G-CO] BanSwag: dafuq
18:56 - [BnT-TA | S3G-CO] BanSwag: forged

22:20 - Captein: fucking
22:21 - [BnT-TA | S3G-CO] BanSwag: hoes
22:21 - Captein: are
22:21 - [BnT-TA | S3G-CO] BanSwag: gonna
22:21 - Captein: stop
22:21 - [BnT-TA | S3G-CO] BanSwag: pimping
22:21 - Captein: themselves
22:22 - [BnT-TA | S3G-CO] BanSwag: from
22:22 - Captein: their
22:22 - [BnT-TA | S3G-CO] BanSwag: captors
22:22 - Captein: and
22:22 - [BnT-TA | S3G-CO] BanSwag: shit
22:22 - Captein: .

The hoe assassination plan

05:25 - Captein: http://steamcommunity.com/id/SgtSheep/screenshot/632989634199094156?tab=public
05:25 - Captein: it looks like you have a dildo stuck in your neck
05:25 - Captein: lul
05:25 - [BnT-TA | S3G-CO] EquiSwag: lolwut
05:25 - Captein: yeah
05:25 - [BnT-TA | S3G-CO] EquiSwag: ohgod
05:25 - Captein: rofl
05:25 - [BnT-TA | S3G-CO] EquiSwag: youreright
05:26 - [BnT-TA | S3G-CO] EquiSwag: hoes be tryna assassinate me
05:26 - Captein: oh shi-

Good job, Flutter.

16:50 - Snuggly Lil' Flutter: there's one thing
16:50 - Snuggly Lil' Flutter: i gotta say
16:50 - Snuggly Lil' Flutter: about kitten's profile picture
16:50 - Snuggly Lil' Flutter: hot
16:50 - Captein: god what
16:50 - Captein: its a boy
16:50 - Captein: rofl
16:50 - Captein: chatlogged
16:50 - Snuggly Lil' Flutter: what
16:50 - Snuggly Lil' Flutter: WHAT
16:50 - Snuggly Lil' Flutter: FUUUUUUUU

*Talking about Valentine's day*

20:46 - TRUCKER: A girl I like got a rose
20:46 - TRUCKER: and I was like
20:46 - TRUCKER: WHAT ASSHOLE DID THAt
20:47 - TRUCKER: *THAT

Arachnophobia

21:34 - Snuggly Lil' Flutter: aw
21:35 - Snuggly Lil' Flutter: so cute
21:35 - ж: fuck off
21:35 - ж: im a spider
21:35 - Snuggly Lil' Flutter: shit
21:35 - Snuggly Lil' Flutter: i have arachnophobia
21:35 - Snuggly Lil' Flutter: seriously
21:35 - ж: i will rape yo
21:35 - ж: u

gay bandit pirate vampire alien cowboys are cool

01:36 - gru: also, we need some gay bandits at the SRP
01:36 - Armada: ic'ly petrobnya is my brother
01:36 - Armada: fuck
01:36 - Armada: lets make them right now
01:36 - Armada: come on, you and me
01:36 - gru: sure bebe
01:36 - Armada: gay bandit pirate cowboys
01:36 - gru: no wait even better idea
01:36 - gru: gay bandit pirate vampire alien cowboys